Become a father before you become a husband – Counselor Adofoli

Counselor Frank Edem Adofoli
Counselor Frank Edem Adofoli

The Marriage Consult LTD, Counselor Frank Edem Adofoli has explained the transition from a father to husband with scriptures and life teachings.

In a post sighted by, the Counselor make a statement saying that you must “become a father before you become a husband.”

Per his assertion, a father is a giver and a source.


As a father, you must cultivate the habit of giving and extending helping hands to your wife to be. Form a habit of providing her needs according to your strength.

Fathers are source in general terms. A source of happiness, a pillar she can stand on as a support, a source of love and affection.

READ ALSO: Counselor Adofoli reveals how to become a great wife

Being a provider doesn’t limit you as a man to giving money or gifts; you must free you body, mind, & soul to be loved.

Women should find out for he who gives himself to his family, gives his time and attention to them, devoted to them and puts them first. He gives his best to the family. He shares his mind, wisdom and knowledge; he educates the family, directs or instructs the family.

“It might interest you to know that the first man Adam, birthed the first woman Eve. “God put the Man into a deep sleep. As he slept he removed one of his ribs and replaced it with flesh.

“God then used the rib that he had taken from the Man to make Woman and presented her to the Man” – Genesis 2:21-22 (MSG). Eve was taken from Adam, in other words, Adam gave birth to a woman he eventually married or became a husband to and fathered her kids. He is the father or source she was taken from.

A father should be the point everything originates from. Fatherhood is not associated to only having a child /or impregnating someone because, it’s far beyond such expectation.

A right and sound man do not expect the lady he is dating to ask before coming to their aid. He must spot it and provide accordingly to his strength. In the case of not reaching the best for her,  find a nice way to communicate the challenges reasonably.

“Stinginess is not in the DNA of a father, therefore a man who is stingy cannot be a father or husband to you,” he added.


Further, he said selfishness is not a describing element of a father therefore a man who always think about himself without considering his other half can’t cross the transition boarder to become a huaband.

As a man, you should learn how to provide before creating a whole family under your control. If he can’t fend for his partner what’s the probability of supporting a family he created?

“If he is not reliable, his family or wife cannot depend on him, he is not a husband material.”

Supporting his advises and notion about becoming a father before becoming a husband, he use the bible verse Genesis 2:24 (NIV) as a supporting scripture.
It reads: “That is why a man leaves his father and mother and is united to his wife, and they become one flesh.”

He spoke against assault. Account to him, assaulting woman shouldn’t be consider as love rather, it should be interpreted as a weak defend for his home and handling of family feuds or misunderstanding. “Any man who uses his muscles and strength on a lady he wants to marry, either by physically abusing her, forcing her to have sex with him or raping her, is not a candidate for a husband.”

A husband must protect her wife-to-be from danger not exposing her to danger. Acting contrary should communicate a sign of disqualification to her about the man’s failure and future inability to be ready as husband and the father of her children.

“A father protects those he loves, especially his family, wife and children. A father does not abuse those he loves, his arms and home are their safe place,” he cautioned on abuse.

Counselor Adofoli advised women on the type of man they should crave for when planning of settling down.

He stressed that young ladies dating shouldn’t pressure their partners to provide them their needs.

“You don’t need to teach him, force or beg a man to be a man. That’s why you don’t need to demand from him, if he can’t freely give, he just can’t be your husband.



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